An Ode To Us

We married with a plan; we continued with none. It was easy to tell ourselves that the next step was to have a baby, to grow a family, to show that indeed we were moving along a perfectly calculated timeline. But that didn't happen, of course. Things don't always go our way, of course.

And looking back at the almost two years we had to just you and me, I'm ever so grateful that life brought us somewhere else.

If I squint, I can find ourselves on our wedding day and remember exactly who we were in the folds and creases of our bodies and our souls: such wide-eyed, ecstatic newlyweds with a perfect image of each other, hoping and expecting nothing but the best. It was adorable; we were immaculate. And then life happened and hit us like a truck...

MarriageDeanne BanaresMay 6, 2017Love, Marriage, Parenthood, Couple, HusbandComment

The Thrill Of Monotony

I stumble out of bed with my head disheveled from odd dreams, my eyes squinting from the sunlight. Another dawn, another flip on the calendar, yet it’s the same old, same old story for me.

To Do List: Do the grocery (didn’t I just buy cereals and bread?). Schedule a general cleaning session for the apartment (because no matter how much I clean, it’s still not spic and span). Buy the medicines and toiletries my husband needs (what was it again?). Buy a frame for this painting (this room needs an art piece)…

It goes on and on and on. Facing the long list is daunting but my mind will go haywire if I don’t spill the many contents of it into something else.

I move seamlessly from errand to errand. After almost two years of being a housewife, I know where to go, whom to talk to, how much it costs. A rhythm has been established. But you know what else? Boredom, repetitiveness, ordinary. I move seamlessly, yet reluctantly. I move efficiently, yet unenthusiastically...

MarriageDeanne BanaresMarch 1, 2017Housewife, Errands, Vocation, Love, Service Comments

A Married Kind of Date

How Married People Plan Valentine's Day:

Do you want flowers? Too expensive on this day.

How about a special dinner? In the city? Along with every other couple?

Oh yeah, remember our second Valentine's? When that restaurant looked like a scene out of a chick flick?

A getaway? I'm pregnant.

Well, what else? Hmm, didn't I just clean the condo for you today? And didn't I just do the grocery?

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I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's harder to plan Valentine's Day when you're married. Suddenly, the apparently romantic ways just won't do anymore. Maybe it's because you have every day to show your love, other more appropriate ways to express it...

MarriageDeanne BanaresFebruary 23, 2017Valentine's Day, Letters, Marriage, Antonio's, Romance Comment

Marriage Bytes: For Better or For Worse

Slammed doors, raised voices, silent treatments. Morning cuddles, sweet nothings, date nights.

Pesky habits, heavy sobs, unsolved resentments. Planned surprises, silly laughter, unending conversations.

Images of love and sounds of pain - the cacophony of marriage.

Remember the vow 'for better or for worse'?

It's lived every day, in the flesh, in the ordinariness and the humdrum. There are days when it's better. There are nights when it's worse...

MarriageDeanne BanaresJanuary 12, 2017Marriage, Husband, Wife, Spouse, Promises, VoewComment

Young Love

When our life together began, I waxed poetic about being married at such a young age, looking forward to the unveiling of the sacrament. It's been a year since we tied the knot and I'm happy to confirm that yes, there are so many actual rewards I can tirelessly and enthusiastically write about. My own experience so far has sealed my role as advocate of young love because there is just so much rawness and richness to behold. Here's what the past year has gloriously shown me...

Getting To Know You

There is only so much you can know about each other as girlfriend and boyfriend, or even as an engaged couple. It is only in marriage where the real self reveals itself. But this has less to do with facts about the spouse (any more secrets? skeletons?) and more about one's character. How does he set the budget? How does she adapt to chores? What does he do after a fight? How does she celebrate his triumphs? Every single day presents endless opportunities to get to know each other even more, even deeper...

MarriageDeanne BanaresAugust 4, 2016Marriage, Husband, Wife, Young, Domesticity, Love Comments